August 12, 2007

...let me to Thy bosom fly...

q. shenaynay

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Let me to Thy bosom fly
While the nearer waters roll,

While the tempest still is high!
Hide me, O my Saviour, hide,

Till the storm of life is past...

The Beehive blog has been quiet for a while. To everything there is a season, and we needed a summer break after Fa's graduation. June and July were a capsule of precious time for our family. We celebrated my parents' 50th anniversary, Great Scot's 50th birthday, Fa's 18th, Spuddy Buddy's 8th. We went to singing school, camp, and a big church meeting in Memphis. Definitely a time to live large now and blog later.

And now, as another school year approaches -- our 14th year of homeschooling -- our family is facing many new seasons in our lives all at once. Fa soars away to the next exciting phase of college life... Beatrice and I soar into a precious three year span of being together one-on-one for her last three years of high school... Spuddy Buddy soars into that wondrous phase of discovering the thrill of tearing through real, honest-to-goodness chapter books and conquering the world of little league and astronomy and losing baby teeth and just generally being a super-sweet, wonderful stinker of ridiculously handsome boyness.

But sometimes life brings us a season to soar and a season to struggle for dear life -- literally -- all at once. As many of you already know, I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week. Three tumors, two different types of cancer. Please pray for us.

In the smaller storms of life we have already passed through, we have learned by experience to cling in steadfast faith to the One who promises not to leave us comfortless, the One who sticketh closer than a brother, the only One who can calm any tempest...

Other refuge have I none;
Hangs my helpless soul on Thee:
Leave, oh leave me not alone,

Still support and comfort me!
All my trust on Thee is stayed,

All my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head

With the shadow of Thy wing.

He who knit me together in my mother's womb knows every cell of my body, the good ones and the fallen ones, and He reigns sovereign over them all. The team of physicians who will commandeer and rearrange my besieged body in the days to come must, whether they acknowledge it or not, work within natural laws He created, and on a human form He designed. I am thankful for all the brilliant people on my medical team, but I also know that only the Great Physician, the Lord Jesus Christ, can truly heal me...

Thou, O Christ, art all I want,
More than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint,

Heal the sick and lead the blind.
Just and Holy is Thy name;

I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am;

Thou art full of truth and grace.

The Lord has faithfully led me thus far in my life, and thus I trust Him to show me through this trial what He wants the rest of my life to be. In the past week, I have cried out to Him in horror and agony... and I have felt His grace like I have never felt it before. The Psalmist said to the Lord, "Thou hast showed Thy people hard things; Thou hast made us to drink the wine of astonishment." Truly He has done both this past week. He is astonishing me continually, showing me things about His reign over my life that make me want to fall on my knees before Him in awe. Truly His grace is sufficient for every trial...

Plenteous grace with Thee is found,
Grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound,

Make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art,

Freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart,

Rise to all eternity.

Life is the thing. We have always liked life here in the Beehive -- we live it pretty large, as you may have noticed. The Beehive has always been a blog about LIFE. None of us want The Beehive to become a cancer blog. Actually, I'd like very much for it to remain a beacon of normalcy in our lives -- a place where life is still lived hard amid much laughter and rejoicing and silly celebrations over everyday wonders. A place where cancer doesn't try to tell us what to say and how to act. We need that.

So, although I'm sure we will mention it here and there as it inevitably weaves its way into our everyday life for a season, I will probably not be posting in-depth cancer updates here. Here is where we will continue to talk about life and living and living life and living it real big. Because that's who we are.

Please pray for me, and for my dear, suffering family. Pray especially hard for Spuddy Buddy. This is all very hard to take when you're only eight and your Mamadah is the center of the cosmos. As you Beehive regulars know, he loves me "to the moon and back and all around the universe."

And as you pray for us, please think on this... perhaps you have never needed the Lord as desperately as I do right now, every single minute of every day. But someday you will. Count on that. And when you do, I am here to testify from my experience just over this past week -- the darkest week of my whole life so far -- that He will be there for you, every single minute of every day, and in ways that you cannot now imagine. And it will be what you live for. So praise Him for that NOW. He is faithful, and He is glorious, and His promises are true. Praise Him. Now.

Jesus, Lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly...



Miss Daisy said...

You and your family are in my prayers.

Mrs. Happy Housewife said...

I'm praying for you and the whole Beehive.

rachel tsunami said...

as usual, your heart breathes in every word you've written. i am glad for the direction in which you want the beehive to continue. and btw, i ordered the fernando ortega cd with this song on it that you mentioned on your care page.


Betty Canuck said...

I found this post from Momma Squirrel's blog.

Many prayers. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Donna-Jean Breckenridge said...

Loving you, thinking of you, thanking God for you. Learning from you, and listening to your every word. Praying for you - and the entire beehive - and asking others to join me.

And looking forward to reading more of your everyday wonders - whether cancer-related or not.

Lisa said...

Tearfully praying for you this morning.

Dani said...

I heard at church yesterday. Little Union church is praying for all of ya'll. You have been such an encouragement and such a role model to so many of us, even in how you are handling this. We love you down in Florida, and will keep praying.

Amy Witt said...

Praying for you all as you travel down this road together. THe Lord who has brought you this far will lead you on. Praying from my side of the metroplex.

Krista said...

I know I'm a total stranger - I found your blog through DHM over at the Common Room - but I want you to know that I am praying for you. My memere was recently diagnosed with breast cancer... *hugs* Both you and she are in my prayers.

G.L.H. said...

As another commenter said, "tearfully praying."

You have a tremendous testimony already, just a week into this journey. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Cal-el of Krypton said...

Keep on keeping on.

HandmaidenforHim said...

Ya'll have been in my prayers and will continue to be in my prayers. Ya'll are very precious to me and I love ya'll dearly! May the Lord be with you and continue to uphold you in his grace!

Nardo said...

We love you so much and will be praying for you. Let me know if you and your family ever need anything.

Javamom said...

Praying without ceasing here, QS and family...and am available whatever you need.

With Love,


Kate said...
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MommaofMany said...

I came from The Common Room. Please know our family will be praying for you as you begin this journey and find strength in the arms of the Lord. "But someday you will" is ringing in my ears...


Owl of the Desert said...

As Javamom said, we're "praying without ceasing here". Much love to you all, and many, many prayers.