In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- "Do not use while sleeping."
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be....?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's just a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(Well... duh, a bit late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(And you thought...?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(What an idea!)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)