I'll have one miserable comforter to go, please.

q. shenaynay

Confession: I could make a sport out of eavesdropping in restaurants. I mean, what a fascinating past-time for someone who, like me, finds the human race endlessly intriguing.

So there's this yuppified Chinese restaurant in our neighborhood with a take-out waiting area where there is always some prime eavesdropping to be had. Tonight there was the typical crowd of liposuctioned soccer moms and their obligatory entourages of two preschool rock stars each, and there was also a nice turnout of the Important People In Suits multitasking on their cellphones. And then, of course, me, the homeschool mom in jeans who obviously doesn't get out enough.

The flashy blonde gal in her late twenties waiting next to me was wearing an impressive exuberance of leopard print and fiddling obsessively with the bluetooth rig welded onto her right ear. After several minutes of listening intently to her caller, she suddenly let loose with her long-awaited offering of comforting counsel:

"You should have told me about this problem before now. I mean, this just happens to be something I know a whole lot about. I wrote a paper about it in college, you know. Really, I do know a lot about this. If you had only told me sooner, I could have helped you. But. Well." (heavy sigh)

Oh goodness, the human race is just dripping with irony.

When she hung up, it was all I could do not to turn to her and say, "My lands, woman, I just can't imagine why your friend there didn't confide in you sooner!"

But I didn't. Aren't you proud of me?



...maybe next time...