"Promise! Oh, prooomiiise! Where are you? Come here, little promise!"

Well, I was flipping through a Christian book catalog that shall mercifully go unnamed, and I came across a Bible carrier (one of those squishy things) that said:

Promise of Heaven:
Left Behind

Oh, dear. Oh, deary deary dear. As the Shieldmaiden said, "Well, that gives me hope of my salvation!"