January 10, 2008

the great leveller

q. shenaynay

Here's my psuedo-profound observation for today:

The common cold is a mocker.

It will hold back your gustiest five-star sneezes until it catches you venturing just past lunging range of the tissue box. It will most especially relish reducing you to this graceless spectacle right after you've spent three weeks endlessly haranguing your 8 year old son to "Use a Kleenex, for cryin' out loud!" (You know, so you wouldn't catch his juicy, jet-propelled germs. Which you did. Obviously.)

It knows how to make everything in your closet look like the scorned refuse from What Not To Wear.

It will mock you for thinking you could still attain some measure of coolness by the usual trick of whipping out your superfly glamour shades, as it now merely assists them in the cruel and wicked accentuation of your big, red, raw, bulbous, honking nose.

But most notably, I observe that no matter who you are, a cold still makes you feel like a moron.

A drippy, gross, slothful, disturbing, socially unacceptable and hopelessly inelegant moron.



JacciM said...

Ah, it all clicks now in my little brain :) I'd visited your blog before (a blessing), but hadn't put a blog to a name. Thanks for commenting!

My mom has breast cancer right now. She's doing well and her prognosis is very good. Her radiation started this week. *Deep sigh*

Recently, my little girl developed a small lump above one of her eyes. I made a doctor's appointment right away and prayed and prayed. It turned out to be merely cosmetic - similar to a clogged pore. For days now, though, I've been thinking the same thoughts you just mentioned. Resolving to live each day like it *really* is what it is - a gift that may not be given tomorrow. Your resolution post was powerful.

May the Lord continue to bless you, Queen :) What a work He has done!


Kate said...

"What care I for colds when there is such a man!"

"You will care when your nose swells up."

~Sense and Sensibility


Dani said...

Bless you!

Lok said...

And a big bowl of homemade chicken soup to YOU, my dear!

Anonymous said...

I have managed to avoid a cold all winter, but we start co-op next week so I'm sure we're about to get hit with everything!

Sorry you feel so gross! Does the obsession with Mentholatum extend to your side of the family?

Lynn Bruce said...

Dawn, Memaw had a serious Vicks obsession, and tried tirelessly to recruit the rest of us to join her in her nightly ritual of slathering it on her nose, but frankly, I'm scared of the stuff after watching how she struggled for breath in her last years.

Javamom said...

I hope today (Sunday) finds you feeling a bit better; less congestion and all that [boogers, that is :-D haha!]

I want to come and walk with you sometime when you get to feeling better!

Mimigrace08 said...

Dear Queen S, As of the last 24 hours, I totally agree with you. The "common cold" makes you feel miserable enough to be non-productive, but not sick enough to get you any real sympathy. Bummer.

Owl of the Desert said...

Hope you're feeling better. And, just remember, when you sneeze, you're expelling the devil. ;-) Bless you!

Anonymous said...

I heartily agree with what you say! I haven't had a cold so far in 2008, but you never know when it will creep up behind you and grab you. Of course, even worse, I suppose, would be bronchitis, which my mom is just recovering from. (btw, I'm handmaidenforhim's little brother, in case y'all're wondering.)