Me, to the waitress at IHOP:
"Is the coffee in this carafe decaf? Because it says decaf."
Waitress (referring to a previous waitress):
"Did she pour it? Because if she didn't pour it, it isn't decaf."
Now why didn't I think of that?
"There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. The liberal soul shall be made fat and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." Proverbs 11:24-26