Me, to the waitress at IHOP:
"Is the coffee in this carafe decaf? Because it says decaf."
Waitress (referring to a previous waitress):
"Did she pour it? Because if she didn't pour it, it isn't decaf."
Now why didn't I think of that?
Little did I know when I turned a page and came upon this passage well over a decade ago that my children's lives would be immeasurably ...