August 31, 2005

Words of Wisdom

Great Scot

This last weekend, I had the opportunity to get to know better a number of outstanding young adults. This lead me to ponder the sage advice I would give them. The following would be some of the things that I would want them to know:

1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
8. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
9. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
11. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
12. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
13. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
14. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
15. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
16. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
and finally
17. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


Anonymous said...

What marvelous, and may I add practical, words of wisdom. I understand completely about the duct tape. Love that stuff!

X said...

LOL. I love the one about everyone being normal until you get to know them. But then, there are some people who are just unnormal when you first meet them.