In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit...

A hobbit, strange as it may seem, named "The Shieldmaiden." Weird, isn't it?
I am a rather nutty teenager who thinks that the Lord of the Rings is the best literature ever to pass the printing blocks.
I play the violin, read (endlessly), draw, paint (questionable), adore cats, and am "practically perfect in every way." (VERY questionable! )
I hope that this works, seeing as I have never done this before, and the evil blog-monster that lurks in all blogs might at any moment jump out and eat me.
As you see, I am kinda loony.
But, around here, I often wonder why, because, how ever nutty I get, I will never be as crazy as my mother, Shenaynay, or whatever it was.
Not that that's a bad thing, you understand.
It is my belief that if every one was just a little bit loony, the world would be a better place so here they are:

18 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
#1. At lunchtime (or anytime!) sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
#2. Page yourself over the Intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
#3. Anytime someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
#4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "Inbox."
#5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
#6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophesy."
#7. Don't use any punctuation.
#8. As often as possible, skip instead of walk.
#9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
#10. Specify that your drive through order is "To Go."
#11. Sing along at the opera.
#12. Got to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
#13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
#14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
#15. Have your Co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
#16. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
#17. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
#18. Tell your children during dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."